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Worry is a habit. A toxic one.

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Executive Coach, Sinead Millard, on teaching clients to recognise the futility of worry, and how eliminating its presence will allow you to prosper.

 

Your mind is there to solve problems, to create the opportunities you want. If your mind is stuck worrying there is no space to create and no energy to take action. Worry is a habit. A toxic one. 

 

This was the Facebook post that really opened my eyes. I received a huge response from people who are genuinely struggling with worry. We all have different tendencies to worry. In the past, my tendency was high. I would excessively worry about everything and anything.

Realising that worry was my most self-destructive tendency was a big turning point, but understanding how to lower my levels of worry was a game changer.

Jumping straight to solutions on how to reduce worry won’t work; first you must examine what worry is, and what it is not.

 

Worry is unproductive.

We convince ourselves that by worrying (be it worrying about our job, children, finances etc.) that we are actually helping to solve the problem. That by laying in bed at night playing out multiple scenarios, obsessing about future outcomes, we are somehow being productive. After all, you’re not ignoring the problem – you are worrying!

Is that how you wish to solve problems?

Worry is the “misuse of the imagination”, it likes to focus on the negative, to cherrypick the facts (usually the negative ones), to give you a false sense of reality. Worry involves no action, it is pointless and unproductive and achieves nothing.

 

Worry is a habit – it grows with practice.

If you practice worrying enough, like anything, it will become habitual and you will become “good at it”.  It will become so natural to you that you won’t even realise you are doing it. In fact, without a worry on your plate you may feel unproductive!

 

As a coach, addressing a clients worries must come first;  until we remove those worries we cannot access his or her resources to create, to solve problems, to grow.

 

 

Worry is not concern.

Concern involves taking corrective action. It focuses on solving the problem, addressing the issue.

Worry is ruminating about an issue that is plaguing us without actually making substantive progress in addressing the issue.

 

Worry cannot work alongside creativity.

Until we remove our worries we are a dysfunctional person.

As a coach, addressing a clients worries must come first;  until we remove those worries we cannot access his or her resources to create, to solve problems, to grow.

When we are in a state of worry we fail to engage with people, we miss out on great conversations, great opportunities.

Worry is the killer of dreams, it is the depletion of constructive energy – the type of energy you need to succeed, to move forward, to prosper.

 

You generate your own worry.

You have everything to do with the level of worry that you are experiencing.

Worry is not linked to external events or circumstances. Your circumstance itself (your job, your relationship) is not what’s causing you to worry. It is the thoughts that you are having around the event/circumstance that is causing you to worry.

This is a concept that so many people struggle to accept, but until you truly understand and ultimately believe that you are generating the worry that you are experiencing, it will be impossible get on top of it.

There is light after worry: it involves some effort, but the effort is worth it.

 

About Sinead Millard

Coaching ambitious people to live more fulfilled and successful lives. I help clients take control and reach the next level of success.

www.sineadmillard.com

Phone: +353 (0)87 710 1437

Do you have a career dilemma you would like answered? Drop us an email at contact@thedailyslog.com and we will ask our experts to help.
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